It's all in you...

You don't have to smile to prove you are happy, or cry to show sadness. It's the most true feelings that are hidden. The most amaz
ing feelings are kept far within us, perhaps in a bid to hide it, keep it from going away. It is also deep inside, that we hide the deepest, darkest sadness. And sometimes, fake the most amazing smiles as well. It's all within you you see. It's your life, right? You decide when to smile, when not to, and when to hide all your joy. That you want to hide it should say something about you. Good? Bad? I know not, because it's all within you.

People, they will play a great role in your life. Some will help you see what's within, the beautiful things, some will bring out all the darkness, you want to avoid those :). When meeting new people, how do you place yourself? Forget first impression and focus on lasting impressions, true impressions, true reflections of who you are and the ability to sustain oneself in a group of equally strong or stronger personalities.

Your dreams, your skills, your ambitions, who you see when you look in the  mirror, is all within you. Never you cry in front of a mirror, because when all is lost, you need just one person to still believe you are strong enough to do it, a person with so much influence on you. You need oneself. What brilliance you will discover when you look, when you search deep inside. How deep you are, sometimes, you never know, until you look. Will you be hiding it then? How do you hide something you do not even know you possess. That's the most amazing bit of human nature, that you can always surprise yourself with all that is within you. Big, small, huge, tremendous, surprising!

It's a long path you know, trying to travel ones journey. You need inspiration, motivation and the wisdom to know the path you tread, the journey you are on. Having the knowledge that if you do look far beyond, you will see much you never noticed in the past. Every step in the long treak taken, each with a distinct meaning and deep influence of particular choices, all which is buried deep within you. You are who you are, experience moulding you to become someone you knew not before this day.

What if you could see your future? Would you alter it? Would you want to see all that you will be? Or would you rather stick with what is within you? Every day presenting a case, special enough to mark your living of that day? By doing so my friend, you become living proof that indeed there is brilliance, greatness, beauty and all that is breath taking, within you.

 

TREADMILL

It's bit by bit
Jay take it slow
That's what you say
But I am my mother's daughter
and she don't believe in slow

It's like I'm on a treadmill
Running 
and running
But not going nowhere




I'm running
I'm panting
Out of breath for you
I'm out of strength
Don't want to do this anymore

Take my hand
Let go of my heart
We've done this before
We can do it again
Days to come
Or not

I will walk
I will run
Faster not slower
And though we trying not to say it at all
We both know this isn't going anywhere

I will get off this treadmill
And look for a track
And I'm going to
Run
Run

Run away 
From you

Because even though we both running
We are on a treadmill
We are not
We will not
Go anywhere.

MY SHORT HANDSOME BOY FRIEND

You are special to me.
Just my opening statement should tell you that.
I will show it to you as much as I can.

You know...
You are among the very few men who do not annoy me.






Around you I don't have to pretend,
When with you I don't have to have my face done,
or wear refreshed lipstick,
Because all I say make sense to you,
or hide my eyes under huge sunglasses,
Because you see right through me.
 
You are perfect in your own perfect way,
And that's why I love you very much.

I may not say this to your face
And I won't!

But you's a good guy.

Even writing you a poem comes easy,
I don't need to say alot of 'thou' and 'thine'
And break all rules of language known to me.

You are just special!

Thou art my solid rock of emotions,
the one I stand on,
When all that is within me,
And all I am without,
Stares me hard in the face.
When all winds are cruel on thine skin,
Shattered,
Discouraged,
Scared,

I know I can have ice cream with you,
And be well again.

My short handsome boy friend!

LIFE'S ULTIMATE GOAL...

You can only be as happy as you let yourself be. Even when things are not working like you want them to. But who says you should always be happy? What is happiness really?

Knowing oneself, that, is happiness.

Happiness is for all.Whoever knows oneself finds happiness. Knowing oneself so well that even some level of sadness makes us happy is life's ultimate goal. By knowing oneself, you'll trust yourself so much, that even in the heart of atrocity,you'll be still, because deep down you know wellness is on the way. Wellness, that which makes us happy, is not easy to come by. It's not easy to see.

Seeing it is as good as having it. Believe. That's all you need to do. Tell yourself that you are destined to be happy, and you shall be so. Wealth, health, love, friends, family, they make me happy.

Perhaps they make you happy too. Isn't that what we are all after? But hey, there's a catch you know. 

Knowing when we actually have these things is the serenity of wisdom. Sometimes we get so engrossed in looking for these things that we fail to realise when they do come to us. Finding love, is a great thing. Anyone who does so should count themselves blessed. 

Blessings do not have name tags on them. The amazing bit of a blessing is that so many people can share it, and yet no single person will feel as though they were getting less. Many times we keep praying and working hard for amazing things to happen in our lives. We loose track of what is ultimately important. People. They make life worth living. You work with people, talk to people, dream about people, love them, share their experiences, fight with them, laugh with them. You do everything with people.

People, are life's ultimate goal.

YOU DONE USED YOUR LAST STRAW ALREADY

I may not be strong enough to carry my loads,
and that's why I may need you there sometimes.

Not to help carry my load,
but to tell me that I'm strong enough.

Sometimes,
My load is just too heavy with baggage,
You may not understand,
But please don't judge me,
Just tell me I can.


The load I carry may be too heavy for me,
So heavy, that it comes so close to the ground,
So close I think I'll drop it!

But then I don't.

You may not be the best to help carry my load,
Because truth is,
You got your own load too.
 
I'm sober now, 
Not drunk as I was when I thought,
You,
Would actually help me.

Well move over you son of a gun.
I'll carry my loads myself. 
You pick yours,
and you stay away from me.

I've been carrying my load for a long damn time,
and I'm surely going to go on with my noble act. 
What use is a man,
if he can't help forge me forward.

I can do this myself. 
You heard me, all by myself.
You stay away.
You done used your last straw already.

YOU LOST A GOOD THING.

For the first time

In a long time,

I did not think about you with tears in my eyes.

I thought about you with a broad smile.

That is progress right there.

That is growth.

I developed today you see,

I recorded a notable change in my life that well, still involved you.

I can.

I have moved away from you.

I wake up and feel stronger without you.

I don't need you to lift me up anymore.

I can do that all by myself.

It took me too long, I know,

but that's the best way to heal dear.

I took time.

I let myself be sad.

I shed tears for me,

because I gave you too much.

Well, it's alright by me.

Being with you was one of the most amazing bits of my life.

If I could,

I would kill you for how badly it ended,

but that would mean I stain my hands with your blood for the rest of my life.

I gave you too much already,

the rest of my life is something I want to keep to myself.

I hope you have a good life,

and one day come to your senses and do realise,

that when you lost me dear,

you lost a good thing.

TO YOU.... FOR YOU...

Forgive me
I should have done this ages ago

No excuse is justifiable

You have always loved me
Even when I least deserved it

I should have dedicated this whole blog to You alone



Every time I have poured my heart out here
You were not the one I had in mind

God, I'm sorry

I love you too,
You know that

When all will turn their back against me
I will run to You
I know You will save me
Ha! You have done it a million times already

That's just who You are
More reason why I believe in You, 
Not for what You can do,
And that's a lot,
But for who You are
Who You have been
And who You will continue to be
In my life
With me
For me
By me
 
Please receive my humble appreciation for being my first love
Having loved me from the very beginning, till this far.